I love these paragraphs too much I just have to type them up x
Buy the book if you can :) And don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled.
After a time, Tiffany’s head ends up on my chest, and my arms end up around her shoulders so that I am pulling her body close to mine. We shiver together alone on the field for what seems like hours. When it begins to snow, the flakes fall huge and fast. Almost immediately the field turns white, and this is when Tiffany whispers the strangest thing. She says, “I need you, Pat Peoples; I need you so fucking bad,” and then she begins to cry hot tears onto my skin as she kisses my neck softly and sniffles.
It is a strange thing for her to say, so far removed from a regular woman’s “I love you,” and yet probably more true. It feels good to hold Tiffany close to me, and I remember when I tried to get rid of my friend by asking her to go to dinner with me. Mom said, “You need friends, Pat. Everybody does.”
I also remember Tiffany lied to my for many weeks; I remember the awful story Ronnie told me about Tiffany’s dismissal from work and what she admitted in her most recent letter; I remember just how bizarre my friendship with Tiffany has been—but then I remember that no one else but Tiffany could really even come close to understanding how I feel after losing Nikki forever. I remember that apart time is finally over, and while Nikki is gone for good, I still have a woman in my arms who has sufferred greatly and desperately needs to believe once again that she is beautiful. In my arms is a woman who knows all my secret, a woman who knows just how messed up my mind is, how many pills I am on, and yet she allows me to hold her anyway. There’s something honest about all of this, and I cannot imagine any other woman lying in the middle of the frozen soccer field with me—in the middle of a snowstorm even—impossibly hoping to see a single cloud break free of a nimbostratus.
Nikki would not have done this for me, not even on her best day.
So I pull Tiffany a little closer, kiss the hard spot between her perfectly plucked eyebrows, and after a deep breath, I say, “I think I need you too.”
Extracted from ‘The silver linings play book’
By Matthew Quick.